What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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