When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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