Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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