I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
