he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
