Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
