Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize