I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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