exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
