Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
