Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
