i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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