Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
