its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
