Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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