she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
