Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Randomize
