I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
