The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
