walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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