Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
