If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
