I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
