i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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