you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
