just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
