Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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