Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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