How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
