I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
