Quick, to the slutcave!
what day is it and did you see me today?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
