Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
