Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize