im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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