1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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