...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
