So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
