hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
