is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
