walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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