Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
