By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
