were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
