dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
