I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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