We're like a lot better than the average bears
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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