he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I wear drunk well.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
