it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
a search helicopter?!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
