his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
