I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just forgot I was standing up.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
