I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
