she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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